What to do with the “bad-mouthed child”

The “bad-mouthed child” is a serious problem for parents. Most parents who give their child bad-mouthing encourage – threaten or punish him / her to control him / her, but what is the best way to give up the child?



How to deal with and change a bad-mouthed child

Bad-mouthed child and the problem of child profanity is a serious matter in children’s upbringing, which unfortunately, due to the intolerance of some parents, not only is not guided in the right direction, but sometimes their punishment and wrong behaviors make the situation worse.


Your child is just starting to use words that are not appropriate. How did you treat him the first time he heard something ugly? Were you surprised or punished by his childish tone while being surprised? Although your child does not mean to say inappropriate words, every parent prefers to treat their child politely. If you do not know how to deal with this issue and explain to your child that he should not swear, read the recommendations of Dr. Katayoun Khoshabi, a specialist in child and adolescent psychiatry and a faculty member of the University of Social Welfare and Rehabilitation Sciences.



Why do children swear? 

Swearing is a form of verbal aggression and in many cases has a learning aspect. The child learns ugly words from the parents or in kindergarten and even from the child’s movies and programs, and uses them to attract the attention of others and to express himself or to provoke the feelings of others and make them angry, and even to be stubborn and break the restrictions. .



Dealing with a bad-mouthed child

It depends on the age of the child. 2 to 3 years old is the age of stubbornness of children and the child may utter these words without knowing the meaning of the words. Sharp and decisive gestures or, conversely, surprising and laughing at the child can cause this behavior. At this age, ignoring behavior is the best practice and helps to change it. These types of behaviors in children are periodic. At a young age, the child may use inappropriate words for a short time and then substitute another behavior.


What about older people like 5-6 years old? What should parents do?

At an older age, the child understands the meaning of insults and may use these words, especially at school, or learn them from his friends and tell them to his siblings in order to show himself in front of friends. Ignoring the child’s behavior at this age is not helpful and parents should express their dissatisfaction.


When a child uses these words, this behavior is established in the child if the parents like their child’s childish tone and laugh at him or her or react very sharply. In this situation, first and even second degree relatives should show appropriate treatment with each other in harmony, that is, they should choose a method similar to their parents. The child should be made aware that these words are inappropriate and should not be used. If the behavior is repeated despite warnings, punitive methods should be used.

 bad-mouthed child

Punish bad-mouthed children

What is the meaning of punishment?

I mean the punishment of deprivation. For example, when a child says something inappropriate, send the child to another room for one minute for each year of age, and ignore him or her half an hour after the end of the deprivation and express their dissatisfaction, or give his or her favorite toy for a few hours. Take the child and then send him to his room without the child noticing or, for example, refuse to take the child to the park or to a place he likes.


What should we do if a child speaks inappropriately in a public place or at a party?

If your child uses inappropriate words at a party or in a public setting, you should push them aside and try to put an end to the behavior. Before the party, parents should use encouraging methods and, for example, warn their child that if he does not use these words, he will reward him.

Incentive methods should be as verbal and immaterial as possible so that the child is not conditioned. It is enough to say a loving or kind smile or finally reward the child. If the child does not pay attention to this method and repeats his behavior, the parents should leave the environment with him. If this behavior is repeated several times, the child will notice the verbal boundaries and will control his aggressive verbal behaviors.


Can encouragement and punishment be used to correct adolescents’ behavior and speech?

No, using these methods is effective at an early age. From the age of 10 onwards, behavioral methods are not responsive and other methods should be used. At an older age, the child should work on himself / herself and have behavior therapy programs.


What should we tell a child when he curses?

1- I know that you are angry with the behavior of your friend (your sister or brother), but it is not right to say insults.

2- If you are angry, take a deep breath and express the problem with the help of correct and appropriate words without using inappropriate words.


3- Cursing spoils your character. If you want to show your friends that you are superior to them, you must speak to them with dignity and politeness.

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