Separation anxiety in children is a common condition that should be treated in the right ways.
Separation Anxiety Disorder in Children and Strategies to Reduce It
Fear of separation from the parents or the anxiety of separation of children occurs in the late 18 months and is a natural reaction after the child is born. Children at this age want independence, but this process sometimes seems so scary that the child Her parents take refuge to alleviate some of her anxiety. Separation anxiety resolves by age three if properly managed by parents. But the problem starts with the fact that parents do not know the right way to deal with this issue and turn the child’s natural anxiety into a disorder that will sacrifice both themselves and the child.
Children are different in nature and instinct. Some children are more sociable and more comfortable communicating with others, but on the other hand we see a child who is isolated and more inclined to spend time with his mother.
In addition to the issue of nature, there are many children who are anxious to separate from their mother. Another group of children suffers from social anxiety. In any case, these last two categories are those who suffer from anxiety and timely psychiatric interventions can be very beneficial for them.
The main causes of separation anxiety disorder in children
There are several possible causes for separation anxiety disorder. There are a number of biological and genetic causes that are related to the activity of the child’s nervous system. Other causes can be sought in families, such as single-parent families, families with very close and intertwined communication patterns, and the ratio. They are highly interdependent, families whose living environment is full of stress and whose parents are constantly stressed, or families who have lost a loved one, such as one of their children or grandparents. Other causes are related to the child’s personality traits, such as introverted or shy children who are prone to the disorder.
It can be said that parental behavior exacerbates the problem of separation anxiety. Apart from the family-related cases listed, some parents make their children very dependent on them or do not allow them independence. Of course, when a child grows up, parents for any reason, even for a short time, such as 30 minutes, want to be separated from their child. It can be said that the family and its behavior are very important in the formation of this disorder.
Separation anxiety and ways to treat it
Separation anxiety is a common issue among children that occurs in some of them during preschool. This state of separation anxiety is a sign of a healthy and secure attachment of the child to his parents if it lasts for 3-4 minutes, but when it becomes prolonged and becomes chronic, it will become a problem. This disorder in children may present with verbal and physical symptoms.
A child who suffers from this disorder, when separated from parents headaches or abdominal pain; and nausea or vomiting finds. He sometimes even shows his anxiety by shouting, begging and kicking, or even having nightmares the night before, the main theme of which is separation from his parents. Getting used to the child alone should start from 6 months, otherwise, the child will stick to his parents like glue around the age of 3-4, and leaving him alone will not be so easy.
Separation anxiety is common in children
1- If the child is very dependent on you, does not leave you for a moment, and insists on sleeping with you, etc., be sure to see a pediatric psychiatrist.
2- Understand his fear and anxiety and accept that his anxiety is real and do not call him because of avoiding gatherings and not communicating with others. If you focus directly on the above behaviors: “Why do not you greet others, why do you cling to me and do not leave me, greet like a child and …” You deprive the child of self-confidence and cause You to intensify the above behaviors.
3-Do not leave the child at once and do not leave him alone without informing the child and making excuses for his fear of the crowd. Before you go, explain your plan in simple language and tell him what he can do during this time. Your little boy or girl should feel safe and secure in your absence and not face any problems. Remember, if you suddenly leave your child alone in a group or at home without informing him, he will never trust you again and will cling to you constantly.
4- Definitely your little boy or girl who has always been attached to you will not be satisfied with this simple and will resort to shouting or shedding tears. In this situation, explain your plan again and repeat for your own comfort: “I know he cries like this because he loves me so much and wants to be with him, but I am not with him for a few minutes and then I will come back to him again. To be together.”
5. Do not compare her with other children who have better communication in the group: “You see how beautiful Sarah talks, reads poetry and …”
6- When your child becomes friends with other children and He plays, leaves you at parties, and sleeps alone in his room at night. Encourage and compliment him. Your encouragement can be verbal and cost you nothing: “Well done, how you greeted me, Grandma! Last night, Saman was lying alone on his bed and … »
7- If the child is constantly hanging from you and sitting on your feet, tell him that he can sit next to you and not on your knees, and if he does, it is time to return from The party takes him to the park.
You need to know the right ways to deal with an anxious child
8. Do not expect your child to change suddenly and overnight. See and appreciate his small efforts.
9- Encourage boys to communicate better with their fathers. It is certain that for a 5-year-old boy who is constantly with the mother, more contact with the father will enable him to better adapt to his gender and be prepared to play a male role.
10. You also need to control your anxiety after teaching your child the necessary skills. For example, you may be worried about your child crossing the street, but you can not cross the street until he is 20 years old! So you have to teach him this skill, practice it with him and slowly give him the opportunity to experience it on his own.
11-The worst way to separate a child is to pay a ransom. If your child sticks to you at a party, bus, subway or even at home, do not try to stop him by promising him toys, chocolates, etc. Ransom makes the child expect a reward every time he goes out or separates from you. Simple games like rocket launcher can get your child used to your travels. By standing behind the door or hiding yourself in the closet and playing such lively games, the child will experience the confidence of seeing the people he loves again. Of course, if the physical symptoms of separation anxiety in your little girl or boy are severe, you should seek help from a counselor.