Raising a child in the right ways
Every child’s upbringing method is different. Many mothers like to take care of their children only and no one teaches them anything, even their child’s approach to the grandmother and uncle makes them anxious.
With the help of Atefeh Kiani Nejad, a psychologist, we explain to you what people are necessary for the child’s life and in what circumstances your child spends time with them, neither harming his upbringing nor endangering his future. If you want to know the limits of your child’s relationship with the people around him and how much you should influence him in your opinion of others, stay tuned.
grandfather and grandmother
The unwavering love of a grandmother or grandfather has a profound effect on the child. Do not forget that people learn to love, and what better teacher to do this than grandparents? So do not worry about losing your baby and let it flow with this love.
If a child sees grandparents once a week, affections, no matter how extreme, will not have a lasting effect on their mood. Even if the meetings are longer, this issue can be resolved in conversation with the child; Say, for example, “We have a set of rules in our homes and elsewhere that you must follow; “Otherwise you will be punished, but exceptionally you can do some things with your grandparents’ permission or not.”
Communication with close relatives
aunt; Uncle and uncle
From childhood, a series of people are present in the emotional life of each person, who gradually becomes interested in them and becomes acquainted with them. First-degree relatives such as uncles, aunts, cousins, aunts, and potential children are those who love the child and the child feels good with them.
This type of relationship is just as important as the relationship with the parents. In connection with the family, the child learns a large part of social skills and learns how to adjust his relationship with different people.
At the same time, the parents’ knowledge is limited and they do not know everything, and the child learns something from each of them in association with close relatives, and these associations lead to the expansion of the child’s information circle. Moreover, as we said in the previous issue, the child reaches the definition of the opposite sex in relation to a heterosexual adult, or rather, the uncle’s relationship with his nephew creates a definition of “man” in his mind. These mental presuppositions shape the child’s relationship with the opposite sex in the future.
Do not cut ties with family!
aunt; Uncle and uncle have been present in the emotional life of every person since childhood, and over time, the child becomes interested in them and becomes acquainted with them. First-degree relatives such as uncles, cousins, aunts, uncles, and potential children are those who love the child, and the child feels good around them. This type of relationship is just as important as the relationship with the parents. In connection with the family, the child learns a large part of social skills and learns how to adjust his relationship with different people.
At the same time, the parents’ knowledge is limited and they do not know everything, and the child learns something from each of them in association with close relatives, and these associations lead to the expansion of the child’s information circle. Moreover, as we said in the previous issue, the child reaches the definition of the opposite sex in relation to a heterosexual adult, or rather, the uncle’s relationship with his nephew creates a definition of “man” in his mind. These mental presuppositions shape the child’s relationship with the opposite sex in the future.
If you speak ill of the family. . .
Sometimes things may not go well and you may have to break up with a relative. In such a situation, you should not deprive the child of contact with them or you should convey your problems to the child and inform him/her about the details of the disputes by swearing. A child who loves his uncle has the right to go home or sit at a party, even if you are angry.
On the other hand, if the father, for whatever reason, tells the uncle about his uncle’s evils, weaknesses, and mistakes in front of the child, he suddenly sees that the picture he has of the uncle is different from the picture that the father presents from earth to sky. For him, his uncle is a kind man who takes him to the park, buys him ice cream, puts him on his shoulder so that he does not get tired of walking. . .
But the father says that his uncle used to take his grandfather’s car without permission and crash it and hide the accident. He still does not pay his debt. In such a situation, the child feels very terrible and thinks that he has been betrayed. Such a child can not trust anyone in the future and will have major problems in his relationships with others.
Kindergarten, a small community
Some mothers think that if they leave their child in kindergarten, their emotional relationships will be disrupted and the child will no longer be attached to the mother, so they keep the child to themselves and say that I will teach him poetry and games. Such a notion is completely wrong; First, the mother should not play the role of a teacher for the child, because the mother’s duty is to give the child love and security without hesitation.
A teacher needs special determination and discipline, and when parents take on the role of teacher, the parent-child relationship breaks down. In fact, recognizing and separating these two roles will be tedious for him. After the age of three to six, the child should experience kindergarten and learn the order in the kindergarten space or become familiar with hierarchy. The child with a classmate, coach, manager, juicer, service driver and. . . Learns how to interact with others and solve problems.
Only in other people’s homes!
Sometimes parents are forced to leave their children alone in relatives’ homes. In this situation, it is recommended that families choose someone they trust completely and are sure that they will take care of the child as much as they do, and most importantly, that the person is healthy and the child loves him.
Usually grandparents, but under normal circumstances, this should not be allowed to happen; For example, the child stays with the aunt and has a lot of fun, but suddenly there is an argument between her and her husband that makes the child anxious, or for example, the aunt’s wife sees a scary movie that the parents do not allow the child to see in their own home. . For this reason, he can stay at his aunt’s house with his parents as much as he wants, but he has to return to their house at night with his parents.
Do not include him in your game
Do not assume that your child is one of your assets for whom you decide for yourself and with whom you have a relationship. As we have said, family members whom the child loves and feels comfortable with should not stay away from your child for your sake. If you do not have a good relationship with your mother-in-law or you are not happy with your sister-in-law, you can not deprive your child of socializing with them. Even if your differences are not resolved, your child has the right to attend his cousin’s birthday party or to sit at a party in the arms of an aunt who loves and cares for him.
Time It’s growing up
An adult in the community is not just in the family education environment and deals with a wide range of people throughout the day. In order to be successful in socializing, one must have been trained and practiced since childhood; That’s why you should try to strengthen your child’s social skills from an early age.
Do not make excuses for his childhood and do not deprive him of facing adults so that he can establish more effective relationships with the people around him in the future; For example, the child should greet the neighbors and answer their greetings in a loud voice. Ask him out well if he is no longer absorbed in the connection, and expect that he will not make any mistakes in the next meeting. If he does these things correctly, praise him in front of others and show that he behaves properly and is appreciated by everyone.
The child is not only supposed to communicate with neighbors, kindergarten teachers, or acquaintances you go to. He should even know how to talk to the grocer and learn to shop, so take him shopping with you and tell him on the way how he should behave and what sentences he can use for his request. After shopping together a few times, you can stand outside the store and ask the child to go in alone and shop. Then you have to talk about it and if it was a successful purchase, give it a star on the startable.
Teach your child that in order to grow up, he must not only stand tall but also communicate in an adult way and deal with his communication problems properly.
