Learn the basics of raising a child before having a baby
It is better to know the principles of raising a child before having a child so that we can provide a suitable, safe, and interesting environment for raising a child and learning as well as possible and can solve the child’s behavioral problems.
Raising a child
Some couples have children with tact and careful planning, some spouses have children without thinking and irresponsibly, and some decide never to have children. No matter what category you belong to, one thing is for sure, and that is that having a child and raising it is a full-time, long-term job and responsibility. It is better to know the principles of raising children before having children.
Effective methods for raising children
Principles of raising a child:
Prepare a safe and favorite environment
Because home accidents are one of the causes of harm in young children, it seems necessary to have a safe environment where the child can be safe from injury while searching, playing, and having fun.
A house full of interesting objects for the child, such as kitchen utensils, will stimulate the child’s curiosity and the development of language and intelligence, keep him entertained and active, and reduce the possibility of his abuse. Children need proper supervision, which means knowing where the child is and what he or she is doing (indirect supervision).
Create a learning environment
Parents need to be available to children. This does not mean that you should always be with your child, but that you should be there when your child needs help or care. In fact, the quality of time is important, not the quantity of being with the child.
Discipline means consistency in dealing with the child. That is, we react the same way to a child’s behavior at different times and places. When abusing children and teaching children to behave appropriately, when parents use discipline firmly, children learn to take responsibility for their own behavior, become aware of the needs of others, and increase self-control.
Be happy parents
When your personal needs such as intimate communication, companionship, fun, etc. are met, it becomes easier to be a father or a man. This does not mean that the child has control over your life. It will be easier for you to be bold, stable, and accessible to children if your personal needs are met as an adult.
Adverse Behavior Management
All children need to learn to accept boundaries and control their failures when they do not get what they want. Managing these successes can be difficult for parents, but there are positive and effective ways to help children learn to control themselves. Children learn to control themselves when parents use immediate, continuous, and decisive consequences for their child’s abuse.
Effective methods for raising children
Methods of managing children’s behavioral problems:
Make clear rules: Children need to set boundaries to know what is expected of them and how they should behave. A few basic rules for the house (4 or 5 rules) can be helpful. Laws should tell children what to do, not what to do.
For example: walk slowly! If the rules are simple, easy to follow, and can have consequences, it will work much better, try to involve the child in making decisions about family rules.
You can have a family meeting and decide on some rules with your family.
- To begin with, consider a few rules.
- Obedience to the rules should be easy.
- The rules must be expressed positively.
- The rules should be simple.
- Laws must be enforceable.
If no one at home follows the rules, do not expect your child to do so.
Use direct discussion to deal with breaking the law: The best direct discussion is when the child sometimes forgets one of the basic rules of the house. This includes drawing the child’s attention, telling the child the problem with the fertilizer, giving a brief explanation by asking the child to do the right thing, and then practicing with the right behavior. What are we talking about walking home? Now show me the right way to walk in the house, go back to the door, and start again!
To make the direct discussion more effective, force the child to re-practice the correct behavior.
Ignore: Used to deal with behavioral problems. For children 1 to 7 years old, ignoring means intentionally not paying attention to the child, when small behavioral problems occur, such as crying, saying ugly words, etc. When you ignore a behavior, do not look at the child and talk to him. do not do. The child may be busy at first and try to get your attention, turn around if necessary and try to calm down, take a few deep, slow breaths if needed.
Keep ignoring as long as the behavioral problem persists, and praise the child whenever the behavioral problem stops, and do not ignore more serious problems such as hurting others or destroying objects.
Commanding: It is often seen that parents give instructions to their children that they can not easily do. Commands that do not work have one of the following:
1- Chain commands:
Chain commands give the child several commands at once (for example: put on clothes, brush your teeth, comb your hair, and come eat breakfast), while the child still has the ability to remember them all. does not have. So it is better to divide the instructions into smaller parts and ask each child to do each part separately.
2- Ambiguous commands:
Commands that are not clear. For example, be a good child. In fact, the child may not really know what is being asked of him. It is better to say to the child, for example: Share your toys with your brother.
3- Question commands:
In such instructions, the child is asked if he is doing this. And in fact, he is not directly instructed to do anything. Example: Would you like to clean your room now? In this case, the stubborn child can simply say no.
4- Commands that are followed by reason and logic:
Example: Take the toys, because your grandmother comes here and you know she loves a clean house! The problem here is that the child may forget the main command.
By avoiding these types of commands and following the following principles, you can expect your child to follow your commands more likely:
Get the child’s attention and make eye contact before giving the order.
Speak firmly and firmly to the child, but not loudly or harshly.
Give the child an order that is special and simple.
Use physical gestures appropriately (for example, point to where the toy should be placed).
Use positive commands instead of negative ones.
Reward obedience to orders.
Tip: A house full of interesting objects for the child, such as kitchen utensils, will stimulate the child’s curiosity, and the development of language and intelligence, keep him entertained and active and reduce the likelihood of his abuse.
Tip: It is better to divide the instructions into smaller parts and ask each child to do each part separately.