Principled methods instead of punishing the child
Many parents try different ways to raise their child, from beating the child to depriving, frowning, and saying things like “I do not love you” and … On the other hand, there are parents who do not believe in punishing children at all. And they try to raise their child by encouraging which is the best method?
Instead of punishing the child, it is better to praise and encourage him for his good deeds. In this case, he subconsciously realizes how much he is interested in his parents by doing good deeds, and on the contrary, he is deprived of a number of benefits by harassing and making excuses, and both he and his parents are happy and satisfied with this situation. are not…
By doing this, the child is gradually encouraged to balance his behavior so that he can be more favored and loved by his parents. Therefore, in order to make the most of this training method, you should always encourage him for his good deeds, so that gradually the right behavior will be internalized in him.
Treat the child when doing wrong things
Put him on a special chair
Explain to your child that if he does something bad, you will put him in a special chair for a few minutes. For a child under the age of two who does not understand what you are saying well, you can communicate in sign language. For example, if your one-year-old goes to the power outlet, hug him or her and say with your hands and head gestures, “No, it’s dangerous.” After a few times, he realizes and does not go to it anymore. After the age of two, you can sit on a special chair in addition to verbally informing him when he did something wrong.
If you feel he is afraid of this, you can sit him next to you for a while. But he must realize that this was due to his wrongdoing. Remember this chair is for this purpose only, in other cases try not to use this chair. Over time, he realizes the connection between bad behavior and sitting in a chair.
With verbal communication, you can more easily convey your meaning to your child. By age two, most children understand the connection between misbehavior and sitting in a chair. The older you get, the more you can explain to them. This is not the case for all children. My second daughter, Lauren, for example, was well acquainted with the practice because she regularly saw her sister sitting in a special chair. If he did something wrong, it was enough to look him in the eye and let him know what he was doing. Therefore, not all children are the same, each child needs a special method.
When you are out of the house: Even if you are out of the house and your child misbehaves, you can treat him or her the same way.
For example, if you are in a store or park and your child is misbehaving, sit him or her on a chair or bench so that he or she is fully aware of what he or she is doing wrong. So always be consistent in raising your child.
Do not leave him alone for long
After your child has misbehaved, immediately put him or her in a special chair or, if he or she is older, send him or her to his or her room so that he or she can more easily understand what you mean. It is better to explain to him in advance what is good and what is bad.
If he still doesn’t pay attention to what you said, don’t blame him and say, “I told you a thousand times not to do this. So go now and don’t leave your room until I tell you.” By doing this, you will make him angry and retaliate against you. The time you put him in a special chair or send him to his room should not be too long. Try to set a specific time for each mistake. For example, if he kicks, send him to his room for five minutes, if he says something bad, six minutes and …
The child must learn not to shout when he tells him to go to his room and to admit his mistake very easily. You should not blame him and repeat your words. If you need to remind your child of something, do it at a specific time when he is fully prepared. So you can get better results.
Set the clock
Time has no meaning for children under three. For example, if you say go to your room for two minutes. He does not notice the time. Therefore, it is better to set the timer or alarm clock to ring on time. After hearing the bell, you do not need to tell the child that now you can do something else. Let him decide for himself. With this action, he will gradually understand what you mean and his mistakes will be reduced.
Choose the right place
If toddlers do something wrong and misbehave, put them on a special chair or stool. In the case of older children, you can send them to a room. If you are outside, just move the child away from the place where he made the mistake. Keeping him away from the environment will have a big impact on the child and he will realize his mistake. Always remember that the room where you send the child does not have a TV on or there are no attractive devices, on the contrary, it should be a place where he gets bored and tired so that he realizes more about his mistake.
Appropriate treatment of the child when objecting
Your reaction when the child opposes
Sit with her for a few minutes and tell her, “I’m your mother. So you have to listen to me and go to your room.” If you are not nervous and the loneliness is short, there is no reason for him to object. But if you find your baby upset and screaming, give him a little time and then say, “Honey, now is the time for Lauren to be alone.”
If the child is older and notices what you are saying, try to explain why you are sending them to their room. Tell him, “When you do something wrong or do something wrong, you better accept it, go to your room and think about it.”
Always keep in mind that children under the age of five cannot think well and make decisions. It’s your job to teach them that if they do something wrong, they will have to be alone for a few minutes. Rest assured that if you are consistent in your training method, they will get used to it very soon.
You can also explain to children over the age of five: “If you disagree, another five minutes will be added to the time.” If he still does not pay attention to what you say and disagrees with you, tell him, “If you do not pay attention to what I say, you will not be able to watch TV today or in two days.” Or give him the choice: “Go to your room for ten minutes or you have no fun the rest of the day.”
Children also need to think
Give him a chance to think
Loneliness requires the opportunity to think about their actions and reconsider their behavior. You can also analyze his behavior at this time. If your child has not behaved too badly, being alone for a few minutes is enough, but if, for example, he has hurt someone else and his behavior has upset you, then when sending him to his room, tell him: “Try “Think about what you did. What would you do if your friend did it with you?” Most children think about their behavior when they are alone and realize their mistakes.
You do not need to constantly explain to your child how ugly his work is and what you expect from him. In this case, your words will be repeated for him. But if the child realizes the consequences of his work, the effect will be multiplied and the possibility of its repetition will be reduced.
As a parent, you need comfort: Sometimes a mother needs to be alone and rested. By sending the child to a safe and comfortable room, he can provide this opportunity for himself and relax. You can do this in another way. For example, if you were playing with your child and he was annoying and not paying attention to what you were saying, tell him, “Now that this is the case, I go to another room and read a book, whenever you want, okay?” “Tell me to play. I will come and play together again.”
If you are doing something and your child is screaming and making a fuss, tell him, “You are disturbing my peace with these things. Go to your room and entertain yourself.” By saying this, you are sending a message to him that he should not only think for himself but also respect the rights of others.
Restore peace at home
When the baby is alone, do not follow up. Let him do his usual work. From then on, he finds himself playing calmly and quietly and does not disturb you.
Judge at the right time
When children play, they become so engrossed in the game that they do not notice their noise. If several of them are playing in a room, it is difficult to control them. In these situations, the best thing you can do is remind them to be careful and play calmly before you get mad. If they still do not pay attention to what you are saying, take their favorite toys out of the room, separate the children and encourage them to do something else, or you can take a few minutes of your time. Leave and read a storybook to them. By doing this, you subconsciously influence their behavior and calm them down.
You must have noticed that when children are playing with each other, they suddenly make noise and fight with each other. When they come to you and start complaining, the best time is when you can separate them for a few minutes and sit each one away from each other to calm down a bit and talk about their work. To think. In this case, they gradually learn to appreciate each other and respect each other’s rights.
This training method is not a punishment at all: sending a child to a room or putting him on a chair is not a punishment at all. This action prevents the child from behaving badly. He must realize from the beginning that he can not show any bad behavior. One day my two-year-old child was harassing me at the dinner table and bothering the whole family.
When I sat him on the piano chair near the dinner table for two minutes, he stopped his bad behavior. From then on, whenever he bothered me, I would tell him, the piano chair, and that was a reminder not to repeat his bad behavior. Children between the ages of two and three are quite accustomed to this type of training method. One day, Stephen pushed two-year-old Lauren and she fell to the ground. Then Lauren came up to me and said, “Dad, Stephen pushed me, so he has to go to his room for six minutes.”
This method of education is important not only for children and prevents their abuse, but also for parents. While the child is in the room, the parents can think about their actions, stay calm, and even prevent corporal punishment. So never judge fast. Give yourself some time and then make a decision.
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